Marriage

One of the many thoughts that has flooded my mind over the past few months has been my gratitude for the greatest gift that God has given me (apart from my relationship with Him) — the gift of Anita as my wife. Yesterday (June 1), we celebrated our 44th anniversary.

I knew I loved Anita back in 1963, but I had no idea of how much that love would grow and shape who I am and how I have functioned in life.

Without getting “syrupy”, I want to acknowledge that Anita, with her considerable gifts in music and art, has been the one who has added splashes of color and beautiful music to my life. Nowhere do I find this better expressed than in the lyrics of Kenny Rogers, “You Decorated My Life.” Rogers writes as if he is writing of Anita’s impact on my life:

All my life was a paper
That was plain, pure and white
Till the balance was right
Till you moved with your pen
Changing mood now and then
Then you added some music
Every note was in place
And anybody could see
All the changes in me
By the look on my face

And you decorated my life
Created a world where dreams are a part
And you decorated my life
By painting your love all over my heart
You decorated my life

Like a rhyme with no reason
And an unfinished song
There was no harmony
Life meant nothing to me
Until you came along
Then you brought out the colors
What a gentle surprise
Now I'm able to see all the things life can be
Shining soft in your eyes

Lest you think we have had an idyllic marriage, we have struggled with many of the same issues that most couples struggle with in marriage. We are almost totally opposite on all the personality profiles. We often see things differently, react differently, and struggle to see the other person’s point of view.

But behind all that is a profound love and trust and respect that have bonded us together in a love that shapes and defines us. And into my rather routine, vanilla, and at times boring life, Anita has added the color and music that have enriched my life more than I can express.

From day one, we have shared the same values, been committed to the same causes, and felt passionately about the same issues. And at the heart of everything has been our shared faith that has bound us together in an unbreakable bond.

Anita could not possibly have been a better wife. She has affirmed me, supported me, forgiven me, and brought out the very best in me. In the words of Scripture, she, as a wife, “surpasses them all.”

And she has been an equally wonderful mother to Stephanie and Charley. As we have reminisced with our children over the past few months, I have been reminded of the many ways she helped shaped their lives, planting seeds of honesty, integrity, creativity, and faith that will serve them well to the end of their lives.

Anita has been my best friend, my lover, my companion in ministry, my confidante and my biggest booster. I can’t imagine life without her.

And so, on our 44th anniversary, I want to pay tribute to the one who has enriched my life is indescribable ways. Though death may temporarily separate us in a physical way, nothing can ultimately break the bonds of love that have bound us together for all these years. Using the words of Buzz Lightyear, our love will last “to infinity and beyond!”